Shocking News

On Friday afternoon I got some very shocking news about my 12 year old daughter. Her principal called me around 4 PM and told me that she had been cutting herself because she is worried about how sick I am and because of things that are happening at her father's and with friends at school.

I know that she has been having trouble but she is a very quiet girl and she doesn't like to talk to me about much. She talks to her friends a lot but I can't get much out of her. I have been trying to talk to her each day after school but she doesn't talk about her dad's or school to me. I feel like she has 3 lives. I don't know how to get thru to her.

When I got this news I was a wreck. I didn't know what to do. I asked her to come and talk to me as soon as she got home from school. She didn't say much other then she had cut herself with a broken mirror. She has a small scar on her wrist where she did this. She said that she did it because she was upset about life.

I am worried because bi-polar runs in my family along with other mental problems and I am worried that she is starting to become affected by something more then typical teenage angst. I need to get thru to her. I need to get her to open up. At the same time I think that I need to get her in to see a shrink.

My husband and I are on different sides of this situation. When I told him what she had done she just said that she is trying to do something that she thinks is cool. I was really pissed at him for saying this. I have to say that this is the first time that I have felt that he has separate standards for my daughter and our son. I really think that if our son was doing this he would be the first person on the phone to find him a doctor.

I also felt really bad because my best friend ran over here to talk to me because I was so upset about my daughter. Then my husband came home and he started saying these things in front of her. She emailed me later and said that she felt really uncomfortable about being in the middle of our fight. I just ended it with him so that she wouldn't have to be in the middle for long.

Sadly, my husband and I haven't talked about it at all since Friday afternoon. I just didn't want to argue again. I am taking it into my own hands to get her a shrink and getting her to talk to someone about what is going on in her life that is making her do this.

When I talked to her I didn't tell her that I had this problem myself until about 2 years ago. I used it as a way to control my own pain. It was something that I could do to make the pain go away, sounds absurd but it's true. The only thing that stopped me was my husband. I don't even know exactly what made me stop. I know why it started though. It was because of the sexual abuse I was going thru as a teen. I am really hoping that it isn't anything that serious for her. But I imagine that it has to be something that is hard to deal with. Just because I know what it feels like to hurt yourself. It has to be done to cover up the other pain.

I would love to hear from other people who have been in this situation either as themselves or with their child. I never thought that I would have to deal with this from my daughter but it has happened and I can use all of the advice that I can get.