Anniversaries

This isn't the typical anniversary, it is the anniversary of something that I did many years ago. It is the 10th anniversary at that. I used to think about it all the time but somehow I haven't thought about it in years, except in a passing way. It is something that I would rather not say anything about right now.

The whole point of this post is to explain that I am on the verge of suicide but I don't know how to tell my husband that. I have already been feeling miserable but this is pushing me over the edge. Or, is it that because I am so down already that this is making me feel worse then I normally would?

My husband is my best friend but not even he can know how I am feeling. I love him for trying though. Tonight he says he is going to cuddle with me and try to make me feel better. I am hoping that I fall asleep early tonight and that I wake up in the morning without this on my mind.

I really need to find something to make me concentrate on something other then this. I will write more tomorrow about this. Hopefully I will be feeling better.