The "D" word. It's a really serious thing. Why do I think about it so much? Is it because I feel like I better leave him before he leaves me? Or is it that I really think that I am not happy anymore? I don't really know. I love my husband, he's a great guy. He is also a great father.
Truly, the only complaints that I have is that I want sex so much more then he does and he can sometimes be a little bit "unavailable" and I have a very hard time telling him exactly what I need from him. It's not that I am really that unhappy. It's just that I feel like I need things that I am not getting from him. It starts to make me feel bad after a while. I go through this for about 4 weeks every year or so.
We have been married for about 8 years and I still don't know how to tell him what will make me happy. Part of that is because I have the female disorder of wanting a guy to "know" what I want. I feel like if I have to tell him what I want then he is only doing it because I told him and not at all because he wants to make me happy. (This is a very common disorder in women.)
When it comes to sex, I am a real addict. I want sex everyday and my husband can go months without it. It drives me nuts. On top of that the only time that we have sex is when I am the one getting things going. How is this suppose to make me feel? Why isn't he jumping on me after a few days? Am I that repulsive? Luckily, I know that he isn't cheating on me. And I know for a fact that he would never do that to me.
What do I do though? How do I tell my husband that I am not happy, even though he is wonderful in every way. I am just not happy with some things. I want more sex and I want more compassion.
The big question here is, can a man be that perfect? or, do I really want to ruin a perfect marriage because of a few rather big things to me, but small things in comparison to the overall picture? Is it even something that I want to bring up (again)? Am I wrong for expecting these things? Is he really that old at 32 to be having sex all the time?
So many questions and I don't know where to find the answers. I really don't want a divorce. I really want to be happy. I want to be happy with him. I want to be with him forever. At the same time I want sex more and I want to feel like I have his undivided attention.
If you have any ideas I would be happy to hear them.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment