Today's News

Today has been one of those days. I think that I am getting addicted to the Percocet that I have been on for the last 2 years. I think I have been addicted to it longer then just today. I didn't take any this morning and I was feeling sick, feverish, clammy, hot and cold, and sick to my stomach. I couldn't move out of bed for about 4 hours. I wasn't able to stand up for very long either.

I don't know what I should do about the pills though. I really need them to make it thru the day. The pain that I feel is pretty bad. If I don't take the pills then I don't know what I would do. Right now, my choices are stay in bed because I am doped up on pills, or stay in bed because I am in too much pain. What would you choose?

Once I started to feel better (which was because I took some Percocet I think), I got a call from the police saying that they had just gotten a call from my 7 year old who was asking for an ambulance. They wanted to know if everything was alright and I had to tell them that he has Autism and had just gone to a Fire Department show the day before. Now I am fearful of leaving a phone anywhere that he can reach because he will continue to call 911 when ever he is alone in a room. He actually said "Did I make a prank call?", He was so happy about what he did. Then my husband couldn't stop laughing.

I am really not sleeping well on top of this stuff. I have been having a terrible dream every night about someone breaking into my house. I used to have this dream years ago, which made me OCD about locking the door every night. I am really hoping that I don't get like that again.

About the quitting smoking, It's day 9. I haven't quit smoking yet. I am not smoking as much and I have made a rule that if I am posting I won't smoke while I do it. I have cut back in other ways too. Shit, writing about it is making me want to smoke. I guess I better hurry up. I don't know if it isn't working because I haven't quit smoking all together. I did get down to only 4 smokes before I had to go buy more. I wasn't as nervous about it. However, I can't seem to just put them down. Hopefully I will learn to put more time between cigarettes and eventually quit completely.